Sunday, May 10, 2009

The State of Motherhood

I love being a mom. It is like I've heard said, "The toughest job I've ever done," but it is so filled with blessings that far outway the effort put forth. My biggest challenge has to be my own weaknesses.

Yes, by far, the greatest challenge I face as a mom is overcoming my own weaknesses so I can be a good mom. I do think of myself as a good person. Someone who cares about others. Compassionate and faithful. But it is the human trait of selfishness that gets in the way so often of being a good mom.

Being a mom takes making one selfless choice after another. Every time we change a diaper or prepare food we put someone else above ourselves for that moment. It is a great thing. Taking those steps outside of ourselves to care for another human being creates growth and maturity. It gives us empathy and fills our servant's heart with love. But it also takes discipline to do it daily and without resistance.

I hurt with moments of struggle many of my days as a mom. Working out how to give them time and also take time to care for me all in the same 24 hours. I ache with the pain of selfish moments that come back to bite me in the backside. When I choose to let my 2nd grader watch a show afterschool before bringing him to the table to do his homework. When I put off preparing lunch just a little too long to get 3 more things crossed off my "to do" list. When I stay up late.

So, how do we know we are doing the right things? When we have to make life decisions for our children, how do we know we are doing right by them? When we are deciding to put them in Kindergarten this year or next. When we are selecting bedtimes and helping them organize their time. When we help them choose what activities they can and cannot participate in -- how do we know we aren't scaring them for life, instead of doing the best thing for them?

A wise friend once said to me possibly the greatest encouragement I have ever received as a mother. She said, "I know you are a good mom just because you are asking how you can be a better mom." As moms, we will never be perfect. We may never even be perfectly what our children need us to be from one moment to the next. But we can be the best we can be just by asking the question, "What else can I do to be a better mom?"

Blessings and Happy Mother's Day!

2 comments:

Happy WAHM said...

Awww....none of those things make you a bad mom, they make you human! And...it is so important to take time for yourself, this is not selfish but needed to keep you from feeling overwhelmed. I have a hard time taking time for myself, I feel guilty but I have learned that when I do, everyone reaps the benefits of it.

Greenmamma said...

Thanks, Happpy WAHM. I agree and appreciate your encouragement!